Stripped (on accident) Session 4

For the last couple of months I have been slowly updating my website.  Something I should take the time to do more than just once a year, but alas it's getting done.  One of the things I have been meaning to do is update my head shot.  The one I have been using is about 4 years old and I am sporting bright red hair.  Though I do love the image and the hair, it is time for an update.  I recently realized that one of my cameras has a wifi setting so I can that I can remote shoot.  I can actually release the button with my iPhone.  Fun right?  Well, this afternoon as I was having a blast updating price sheets, I thought; I don't look THAT bad and I headed over to the shooting area of the studio and set everything up for a quick head shot session.  At first, I am literally trying to figure how to focus with my phone and get myself in the frame the way I want...

I can see the image on the phone as well, so I don't have to get up and look at the back of the camera each time.  I start to think I have the focus and the composition correct so I start to strike a pose...

Then I start to see how close should I get to the camera.  Would it be better closer or far away?

Maybe I am just having too much fun?  I try a few more smiles and poses...my high school seniors always look awesome holding back their hair, maybe I will too!

While I am shooting I am listening to Pandora Radio.  After the last image from above is shot, a new song comes on.  A song that I know well.  A song that I recorded about two years ago as part of a Christmas present to my cousin who said "All I want for Christmas is a mixed CD of Christmas songs that are sung by you"  Well, I didn't do the Christmas album she was hoping for, but songs that I loved.  A few of the songs that were part of the Christmas present were my moms favorites.  My mom loved to sing and even though she did have a nice voice, she would always say that she couldn't sing and that I got my voice from my grandma.  When my mom was at home on hospice, I would play her the songs from that Christmas album.  During one particular song my mom opened her eyes and I asked her "Do you like that one?" and both my brother and I watched her nodded slightly as she closed her eyes again.  At her funeral, that recording was played during the service.  I wouldn't categorize it as a "funeral song", but my mom approved and that is all that mattered.  That song was now playing in my studio.  I was frozen.  See, today marks 3 months since my mom took her last breath.  So, I just sat there with my finger on the release button and listened...

I struggled with wanting to share these.  They are personal.  My guard is down.  A few show a snotty nose and Oprah always says "Don't do the ugly cry on camera!"  For me, this is honoring my mom.  My mom was real.  We try to move on, but sometimes songs come on the radio and trigger an emotion.  If I would have told her I was struggling with posting the images because I have a snotty nose she would have replied "So what?"  You're are right mom.  So what.